Priyangshu Patil
1
Sahil sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the clock as the minute hand crept closer to midnight. The sound of crickets outside his window blended with the faint hum of the small village, but inside the room, there was a heavy silence. Tomorrow, or rather, tonight, he would be leaving his small town in Bihar and embarking on a journey that had always felt distant, almost like a dream. A dream that felt too big, too uncertain, yet necessary.
He stood up and glanced at his suitcase, neatly packed with a few clothes, a notebook, and his father’s old letters — the letters that had stopped arriving five years ago. Ravi Kumar, his father, an architect in Kolkata, had promised to visit once, but the visits never came. Over the years, the letters became fewer, the calls even rarer. Sahil’s mother, Shanti, never spoke of it, but he could see the quiet disappointment in her eyes every time his father’s name was mentioned. The cracks in their relationship were too deep to fix, and Sahil often wondered if his father was ever truly coming back.
His mother had said little about his trip. She had packed his bag and quietly asked him if he was sure about this decision. There were no tearful goodbyes, no heartfelt words, just a simple, “Go. You’ll see your father.” She had always been practical, never too expressive, and Sahil couldn’t tell if she was just resigned to the idea or if she was truly afraid of what might happen.
He stepped outside, the night air cool against his skin. The train station, a small, unassuming building, was barely visible in the darkness. He had always been told that Kolkata was a city full of opportunity, a place where dreams came true. Yet, a part of him was still unsure. The reality of that city—its chaotic streets, its bustling life—felt both exhilarating and intimidating. Sahil had heard countless stories about Kolkata, but they were always from a distance, from people who had either succeeded or been swallowed whole by the city. He didn’t know which one he would be.
As he reached the station, the faint sound of a train whistle pierced the air. His heart skipped a beat. The midnight train to Kolkata was waiting, its headlights cutting through the darkness like a beacon of possibility. He looked around and saw a few people waiting, none of them familiar. The rusted tracks stretched endlessly, much like the path he was about to take. He felt like a small part of something much bigger than himself.
Sahil boarded the train, finding his seat by the window. As he settled in, he couldn’t help but wonder if his father would even recognize him after all these years. Would their relationship be like strangers trying to reconnect, or would it feel like no time had passed? He didn’t know the answer, and that uncertainty lingered like a shadow over him.
Just then, the train doors slid shut, and with a low rumble, the train began to move. The small town of his childhood started to fade into the distance, swallowed by the night. Sahil turned to look out the window, watching the darkness stretch ahead of him, and for the first time, he felt the weight of the journey ahead—both the physical one to Kolkata and the emotional one he had no idea how to navigate.
In the seat across from him, a young woman sat with her head buried in a book. Her name was Mukti, though he didn’t know it yet. Her presence felt like a soft promise of something unexpected—another story unfolding, another journey that had yet to begin.
The train rolled on through the night, its rhythmic clatter a constant companion to the thoughts swirling in Sahil’s mind. As the miles passed by, he could feel the heaviness of his decision settle deeper into his chest. The further he traveled from his small town in Bihar, the more uncertain he became. What was he really hoping to find in Kolkata? A connection with his father? A sense of belonging in a city that felt as distant and unfamiliar as the life he was about to leave behind?
He glanced over at the girl sitting across from him. She was still reading her book, but her face held an expression of quiet intensity, her eyes flickering over the pages with focus. Something about her posture—the way she seemed absorbed, yet distant—caught his attention. It was as if she was trying to escape something in her own thoughts, just like him.
The train swayed gently, and the sound of the wheels on the tracks seemed to match the pacing of his own heart. Sahil had always been a quiet observer, content with his own company, but there was something magnetic about the girl’s presence. He shifted in his seat, feeling the sudden need to break the silence.
“Long journey ahead?” he asked, his voice breaking the stillness of the night.
She looked up, momentarily startled, before a small, almost apologetic smile formed on her lips. “Yeah,” she said, her voice soft, with an edge of something tired. “It’s been a long few days.”
Sahil nodded, unsure how to continue. He wasn’t used to striking up conversations with strangers, but there was something about her that made him want to understand. Maybe it was the exhaustion he saw in her eyes, the same kind of exhaustion he felt within himself.
“I’m Sahil,” he said, his tone more tentative now.
“Mukti,” she replied, her gaze shifting back to the window for a brief moment. The smile had faded, replaced by a look of contemplation.
They both sat in silence for a moment, the noise of the train filling the void between them. Sahil could feel the tension in the air, but there was an unspoken understanding that made him hesitant to ask too many questions. He was aware that people on trains often had their own stories, and sometimes, it was better to let them unfold naturally.
“So, you’re heading to Kolkata too?” Sahil asked, trying again.
Mukti glanced at him, her eyes slightly narrowing as if assessing his question. She nodded, then shrugged. “I guess you could say that,” she said cryptically. There was a pause before she continued, her voice quieter this time. “I’m escaping… running away, actually.”
Sahil tilted his head, intrigued by her response. “Running away?”
She sighed, closing the book in her hands with a soft thud. “From my parents. From the pressure. From everything, really.”
Her words hung in the air, heavy and unfinished. Sahil could sense there was much more beneath the surface, but he didn’t want to pry. He understood the weight of family expectations all too well. His own mother’s silent disappointment, her never-ending wishes for him to settle down, to follow the path of tradition—Sahil had always felt the strain of that pressure. But Mukti’s words had a different kind of weight to them, something more rebellious, something that spoke of emotional turmoil rather than just a difference of opinion.
“I get that,” Sahil said slowly. “My father… well, we haven’t really spoken in years. He lives in Kolkata, but it’s like we’re strangers now. I’m not sure if it’s worth trying to fix things.”
Mukti looked at him now, her eyes softening as if she understood the pain in his words. “It’s not easy, is it?” she said quietly. “Trying to figure out who you are when everyone around you has their own ideas of who you should be.”
Sahil met her gaze, and for the first time since he had boarded the train, he felt a flicker of connection. It wasn’t just the city they were heading to, or the fact that they were both strangers on this journey. It was the realization that they were both running away in some way, both trying to escape from lives they didn’t fully understand. The only difference was that she seemed to be running away from her parents’ expectations, while he was running toward something—toward a father he barely knew, toward a future that seemed too uncertain to hold onto.
Mukti’s eyes wandered back to the window, and Sahil could sense that she was retreating into herself once again. He didn’t push her to say more; he knew what it was like to keep things locked inside. The train clicked and clattered on, a constant motion forward, just like the journey they were both on.
They didn’t speak much after that, but there was a quiet understanding that had settled between them. They were two young people traveling toward an unknown future, each with their own ghosts, their own stories.
The night stretched on, and the city of Kolkata, with its lights and its chaos, grew nearer with every passing moment. Sahil’s thoughts drifted back to his father—would they finally talk? Would they ever bridge the gap that had formed over the years?
But for now, as the train rumbled on through the dark, he was content with this brief connection, this fleeting conversation. There was comfort in knowing that someone else, even a stranger, was also trying to escape, trying to find their way, just like him.
The train screeched to a halt at the Howrah station, and the jolt of motion broke Sahil’s trance. He blinked, realizing that they had reached their destination. Kolkata. The city he had only heard about in stories—stories of grandeur, of opportunity, of chaos. The sprawling city that had taken his father away from him. The air outside felt thicker than he expected, humid and alive, buzzing with a restless energy that contrasted sharply with the calm of his small town.
Sahil stepped off the train, taking in the hustle and bustle of the station. He had always imagined Kolkata as a place of towering buildings and busy streets, but the reality was far more overwhelming. The sounds of rickshaws honking, the chatter of vendors, the rattle of trains—all blended into a cacophony that made his ears ring. He could already feel the difference between his quiet hometown and this chaotic metropolis. It wasn’t just the noise. It was the sheer number of people, each of them moving with purpose, each of them living a different story.
He dragged his suitcase behind him, his heart pounding in his chest. This wasn’t just a city—this was a new life, a new chapter, one he wasn’t sure he was ready to face.
He glanced around, searching for any sign of his father. But the crowd was overwhelming, people rushing past him, their faces unreadable. Sahil’s stomach tightened. Was he supposed to just find his father among the masses? Was there a specific place they were supposed to meet? His mind raced with doubt. What if his father didn’t show up? What if he had changed?
A sharp voice interrupted his thoughts. “Sahil?” The voice was hesitant, yet familiar.
Sahil turned to see a man standing a few feet away from him. He was tall, with graying hair and a well-tailored suit that looked out of place amidst the chaos of the station. His eyes met Sahil’s with a mixture of warmth and distance, and for a moment, Sahil wasn’t sure if he was looking at the man he had imagined for years or a complete stranger.
“Dad?” Sahil’s voice cracked, and he immediately hated how vulnerable it sounded.
The man smiled, a tight, almost apologetic smile. “I’m Ravi. Your father.”
Sahil swallowed, trying to steady his breath. The years between them felt like an ocean, and yet here they were, standing face to face. For a moment, it felt surreal. He had expected something more grand, more emotional—perhaps a long embrace, or at least a few words of reassurance. But the reality was far more subdued. Ravi didn’t move toward him, nor did he seem particularly eager to make up for lost time. Instead, he simply nodded, as though acknowledging the weight of the moment without offering much else.
Sahil took a hesitant step forward. “I… I wasn’t sure you’d be here,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.
Ravi’s smile faded, replaced by a look of quiet understanding. “I know,” he replied softly. “I didn’t think this would be easy. But I’m glad you came.”
The words hung in the air, unsaid and unspoken—so much more than just a simple greeting. The distance between them wasn’t just physical; it was emotional, like an invisible wall that had been built over years of silence and neglect.
Without another word, Ravi turned and began walking toward the exit of the station. Sahil followed, his feet heavy on the ground. The city felt even bigger now, a vast expanse that seemed to swallow him whole. He didn’t know what to expect from this reunion, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t going to be easy to fix whatever had been broken between him and his father.
As they stepped out of the station, the heat of Kolkata wrapped around them, a thick blanket of humidity that made Sahil feel claustrophobic. Ravi motioned toward a waiting car. “Come on, let’s get to the apartment,” he said, his tone casual, almost detached.
Sahil hesitated for a moment before nodding. He wanted to ask so many things—about his mother, about why his father had left, about the years they had lost—but the words stuck in his throat. There was so much to say, so much anger and hurt that had been building up over the years, but he couldn’t find a way to express it.
As they drove through the crowded streets of Kolkata, Sahil stared out of the window, watching the city unfold before him. It was both beautiful and overwhelming—alive with energy, but also suffocating in its chaos. He could feel the contrast between the orderly, predictable life of his village and the unpredictability of the city. It was hard to imagine this place as home.
The car eventually pulled up in front of a tall apartment building, its glass windows reflecting the sunlight. Ravi got out first, and Sahil followed, feeling out of place in the sleek, modern surroundings.
Inside, the apartment was sparse, decorated with minimalist furniture and large windows that offered a view of the city skyline. It was a far cry from the small, simple home he had shared with his mother. Ravi showed him to a guest room, a clean, impersonal space with a bed, a desk, and a few framed photographs on the walls—none of which included Sahil.
“This is where you’ll stay for now,” Ravi said, stepping back toward the door. “I’ll be working late tonight, but we’ll talk tomorrow.”
Sahil nodded, unsure of what to say. He stood in the room, looking around at the sterile surroundings. This wasn’t the reunion he had imagined, but then again, nothing about this city, or this life, was anything like he had imagined.
After a few moments of silence, Ravi turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Sahil stood there for a long time, the weight of the day settling in around him. He had traveled so far, crossed so many miles, but here, in this unfamiliar city, he still felt lost.
The days that followed Sahil’s conversation with his father felt like a slow, deliberate crawl toward some unknown destination. The city of Kolkata, with its unrelenting pace and pulse, was becoming more familiar to him, but not in a way that made him feel at home. The noise, the crowded streets, the disorienting blend of old colonial structures and new glass towers—it was all so overwhelming. He was still trying to carve out his place in this vast, unfamiliar city, but every corner seemed to remind him of how much he didn’t belong.
His father, Ravi, had made a conscious effort to include Sahil in his daily routine, but the moments of connection were brief and fleeting. Ravi would leave for work early in the morning, returning only late at night. Sahil was left in the apartment, with its cold, sterile walls and the distant hum of the city beyond. It felt like living in a glass box—a place of safety, but without the warmth of family or familiarity.
Sahil spent most of his time exploring the city, taking long walks through the crowded streets and narrow alleyways. He wandered through parks, markets, and cafes, trying to understand the pulse of Kolkata, but each step only made him feel more like a visitor. The life he had left behind in Bihar—the simplicity, the predictability—seemed both distant and comforting. But in Kolkata, everything felt out of reach, like a dream that was just beyond his grasp.
One evening, after another silent dinner with Ravi, Sahil decided to take a walk. He needed to clear his mind, to find something familiar in this city that felt both foreign and suffocating. He walked through the bustling streets of Park Street, the neon lights flickering above him, the sounds of honking cars and rickshaws filling the air. It was chaotic, but there was something oddly comforting about it—the way the city never stopped moving, the way it seemed to always have a rhythm, no matter how chaotic it appeared.
As he turned a corner, he saw a small bookstore tucked between two buildings. The sign was faded, but there was something inviting about it. Without thinking, he walked in. The musty smell of old books hit him immediately, and for the first time in days, he felt a sense of peace. The world outside seemed to disappear as he wandered between the shelves, his fingers brushing against the spines of novels, poetry collections, and travel books. It felt like stepping into another world—a quiet, introspective world where time slowed down.
He picked up a book from a nearby shelf—one he had read in his school library back home in Bihar—and sat down in the corner, letting the words pull him in. The world outside faded away, and for a brief moment, he forgot about the pressure of his father’s expectations, the weight of his own doubts, and the lingering tension between them.
Hours passed, and the bookstore’s owner, an elderly man with glasses perched on the end of his nose, approached him with a gentle smile. “You’ve been here a while, young man. You like books?”
Sahil smiled back, slightly embarrassed. “Yeah. I guess they’re one of the few things that make sense to me these days.”
The old man nodded knowingly. “Books are the best company when the world doesn’t make sense. You’re new to Kolkata, I take it?”
Sahil hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. My father lives here. I came to visit him.”
The man’s expression softened. “I see. And how’s it going? A new city, a new life… can be a lot to take in, eh?”
Sahil chuckled, surprised at the sudden familiarity. “Yeah. It’s a lot. Too much, maybe.”
The man smiled knowingly, then waved a hand toward the door. “Kolkata’s a tough city, but it has a way of growing on you. You’ll find your rhythm soon enough.”
Sahil wasn’t sure if he believed the old man, but there was something in his voice, something comforting in the way he spoke, that made him feel a little less alone. “I hope so,” he muttered.
After a while, the man handed Sahil a book that had been resting on the counter. “Take this one. On the house. It’s about finding your way in places you never thought you’d belong. Maybe it’ll help.”
Sahil looked down at the book—a collection of short stories set in Kolkata—and smiled. “Thanks.”
As he left the bookstore, Sahil felt a shift, as though something inside him had clicked. It wasn’t a huge revelation or an epiphany, but it was something. He had been wandering through the city, trying to find a place where he fit, and for the first time, he realized that maybe he wasn’t supposed to fit right away. Maybe it was okay to feel lost, to feel out of place. It was part of the process, part of the journey.
Later that evening, Sahil sat in the apartment, the book open in front of him. He read the first few pages, the stories offering a glimpse of life in the city he was now living in—stories of people trying to find their place amidst the chaos, struggling to reconcile their past with their present. It wasn’t the kind of book that gave easy answers, but it resonated with him in a way he didn’t expect. The characters’ struggles mirrored his own. They, too, were searching for something, something elusive and undefined, but that didn’t mean they weren’t moving forward.
The next morning, Ravi was already gone by the time Sahil woke up. He sat at the small breakfast table, alone, sipping his tea and thinking about the city outside. It was still overwhelming, still chaotic, but there was something about it now that felt different. Maybe it was the people he had met, like the old man at the bookstore, who seemed to understand him without needing to ask questions. Maybe it was the stories in the book, reminding him that everyone in this city was fighting their own battle, just like him.
Sahil didn’t have all the answers. He didn’t know if he’d ever fully understand Kolkata or his father, or even himself. But for the first time since arriving, he felt a small spark of hope. Maybe this city, this new life, wasn’t something to fear. Maybe it was something to learn from.
He got up from the table, took the book with him, and walked toward the door. He had a lot to figure out, but he wasn’t going to do it by hiding in his room or avoiding his father. He had to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
And as he stepped out into the streets of Kolkata once again, the city didn’t feel quite so daunting. It felt, for the first time, like a place where he could belong—if only he allowed himself to try.
5
The days in Kolkata continued to blend into one another, each one marked by silence, distance, and fleeting moments of connection. Sahil spent his mornings wandering the streets, exploring a city that felt both thrilling and unsettling. Despite the chaos of Kolkata, he couldn’t help but feel like a shadow—unseen, unnoticed, drifting through a world he was still trying to understand.
Ravi, his father, was busy with work, and their conversations were brief and awkward. He would leave early in the morning, and Sahil would be left alone in the apartment, trying to fill the emptiness with books, music, and endless thoughts. The modern apartment, with its sleek furniture and minimalist design, was cold and unwelcoming. It was a place that lacked warmth, lacking the familiarity of home.
One evening, after another quiet dinner in the apartment, Ravi suggested they go out for a walk in the nearby park. “It’s been a long day,” Ravi said, his voice low but not unkind. “Let’s get some fresh air.”
Sahil nodded, silently agreeing. The thought of sitting in silence at the dinner table once again felt unbearable. They left the apartment, stepping into the humid Kolkata air. The city’s evening energy was palpable, the streets buzzing with life, the smell of street food wafting through the air. The lights of the city reflected off the wet pavement, casting a soft glow over the crowd. Despite the movement around them, Sahil felt like he and Ravi were islands, separated by an invisible gulf of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
They walked side by side, neither of them speaking. Sahil stole glances at his father, trying to make sense of the man who stood beside him. Ravi had always been a stranger to him, a figure who had disappeared from his life when Sahil was too young to understand why. All these years, Sahil had lived with the image of his father as a distant, almost mythical figure—a man who had left for a better life and never looked back.
Finally, after walking in silence for several minutes, Ravi spoke, his voice surprisingly soft. “I know things haven’t been easy between us. And I know I haven’t been there for you, Sahil. I’m sorry for that.”
Sahil stopped walking, his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn’t expected his father to apologize, at least not so openly. The apology felt like a fragile thread, a glimpse of vulnerability in the man who had so long been a distant, unknowable presence.
“Sorry?” Sahil’s voice was strained, his words barely more than a whisper. “That’s it? After everything? You just say ‘sorry’ and expect things to be fixed?”
Ravi stopped, turning to face him. There was no anger in his expression, only a quiet sorrow. “I don’t know what you expect, Sahil. I can’t undo the years we’ve lost. I can’t fix everything I’ve broken. But I can try. If you’ll let me.”
Sahil’s anger surged, and he couldn’t stop himself. “Try? You think it’s that simple? You think you can just show up and act like nothing’s happened? You think I can just forget how you walked out on us?”
Ravi’s face tightened, but his gaze never wavered. “I never wanted to leave you. It wasn’t just about me wanting a better life. It was about mistakes I made—mistakes that affected all of us. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong. And now I don’t know how to make it right.”
Sahil was shaking, not with rage but with something deeper—something that had been buried for years. “I hated you for so long. I hated you for leaving. For making me feel like I wasn’t important enough to stay for. But now… now you expect me to just accept your apology? To forget everything?”
Ravi took a step forward, his eyes pleading. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t expect you to forget. But I want to be here for you now. I want to try. Even if it’s just a little.”
Sahil stood there, the weight of his father’s words sinking in. For years, he had imagined this moment, built it up in his mind. He had wanted answers, closure, something to fill the emptiness left by his father’s absence. But now that the moment was here, Sahil realized that the answers weren’t as simple as he had imagined. The pain wasn’t something that could be wiped away with a few words.
“I don’t know if I can just forgive you, Dad,” Sahil said quietly, his voice raw. “I don’t know if I even want to. But… I’m not going to keep running away from this. I don’t know where we’ll end up, but maybe—maybe we can start somewhere. Slowly.”
Ravi’s face softened, and for the first time in a long while, Sahil saw a flicker of hope in his eyes. “I’ll take whatever you can give me, Sahil. That’s all I can ask for.”
The air between them felt different now, not lighter, but more honest. They stood there for a moment, neither of them speaking, letting the weight of their conversation settle into the quiet of the park. The sounds of the city continued around them, but for a brief moment, Sahil felt like he wasn’t alone in the chaos.
As they walked back to the apartment, the silence between them wasn’t as heavy. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was no longer suffocating. It was a fragile truce, a beginning.
Later that night, Sahil lay awake in the guest room, the city lights flickering through the window. His thoughts were a tangled mess—his mother, his father, the life he had left behind in Bihar. He had come to Kolkata looking for answers, but the more he searched, the more he realized that there were no easy solutions. There was no clear path forward, no perfect resolution.
But for the first time, he felt like he was at least on the right path. Not the one he had imagined, but the one that was real. The one where mistakes were made, forgiveness was earned, and relationships were rebuilt, one step at a time.
It wasn’t perfect, and it might never be. But it was a start.
The days that followed felt like a slow transformation, both for Sahil and his father. The awkwardness that had once hung between them was still there, but it had softened, becoming more manageable, like a scar that, though painful, was beginning to heal. Sahil found himself in an odd, suspended state—neither fully settled in Kolkata nor entirely disconnected from his past in Bihar. The city still overwhelmed him, its towering buildings and chaotic streets a far cry from the calm, predictable life he had known. But something had changed in him, a shift he couldn’t quite put into words.
For the first time in months, Sahil felt like he was moving forward.
Ravi had been trying. That much was clear. He made more of an effort to spend time with Sahil, to engage in conversations that weren’t just about his work. They had gone to a nearby café for coffee one afternoon, something Sahil never would have imagined his father doing a few weeks ago. Ravi had asked about his interests, about what he had been reading, what he thought about the city. Sahil had been hesitant at first, but he found himself talking more openly than he had in years. It felt strange—like they were both trying to learn how to be father and son again, after so many years of silence.
Yet, despite these attempts, the city continued to feel like a foreign place. Sahil couldn’t escape the constant feeling of being lost—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Even as his relationship with Ravi showed signs of improvement, Sahil was still haunted by the distance between him and his mother. The silence that had come to define their relationship felt unbearable now. He hadn’t called her in days. He hadn’t written to her. Every time he thought of her, the guilt would press down on him like a weight he couldn’t lift.
One evening, after dinner, Sahil found himself staring at the phone in his hand, his thumb hovering over his mother’s contact. He wanted to call her. He needed to call her. But something held him back. The fear of hearing disappointment in her voice, the guilt of choosing to stay in Kolkata instead of returning home to fix things, kept him frozen.
Ravi, noticing the hesitation in Sahil’s face, broke the silence. “You haven’t called your mother in a while, have you?”
Sahil looked up at him, startled. “I’ve been busy,” he said, the words feeling hollow even to him.
Ravi didn’t respond immediately. He simply watched Sahil with a quiet understanding in his eyes. Finally, he said, “She’s probably waiting to hear from you, you know. I’m sure she misses you.”
Sahil bit his lip. The thought of his mother waiting for him, the way she had silently let him go to Kolkata without a word of protest, made the guilt in his chest even heavier. He had promised her he would come back, that he would make things right. But now, he wasn’t so sure if he could.
“You’re right,” Sahil muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
Ravi placed a hand on his shoulder, his tone softer now. “Don’t run away from it, Sahil. You can’t fix everything, but you can start by trying.”
Sahil nodded slowly. It wasn’t easy—nothing about this journey was easy—but the weight of his father’s words lingered in his mind long after the conversation ended. Ravi was right. He couldn’t keep hiding from the problem. He couldn’t keep avoiding the one person who had always been there for him.
That night, after Ravi had gone to bed, Sahil found himself walking out onto the balcony. The city stretched out before him, a sprawling sea of lights that seemed to go on forever. The air was heavy, the humidity making his skin feel sticky, but the view was beautiful. From here, the chaos of Kolkata felt distant, like a world he could observe without fully becoming a part of it.
He pulled out his phone again, his fingers hovering over his mother’s contact. After a long moment, he finally pressed the call button.
The phone rang once, then twice. It felt like an eternity. Sahil held his breath, waiting for his mother’s voice to come through.
“Hello?” Her voice was warm, yet there was a slight crack in it, as if she had been waiting for this call for longer than she cared to admit.
Sahil’s throat tightened. “Hi, Ma,” he said softly.
There was a pause, then a long sigh on the other end. “Sahil, beta. How are you? How’s Kolkata?”
“I’m okay, Ma. Just… just getting used to everything here.”
“I miss you,” she said quietly. “I miss you more than you know.”
Sahil’s chest ached. He had missed her too, more than he had let himself admit. The guilt that had been building up since he arrived in Kolkata flooded through him in waves.
“I miss you too, Ma,” he whispered. “I’m sorry… for not calling sooner.”
“You don’t have to apologize, beta,” she said softly. “I know you’re busy. I know this is a big step for you. I just want you to be happy.”
“I’m trying,” Sahil replied, his voice thick. “I’m trying to figure everything out.”
There was another pause, and Sahil could hear her moving around, maybe making tea or preparing for bed. “You’re doing fine. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. Just take it one day at a time.”
Sahil closed his eyes, letting the sound of her voice wash over him. It was the first time in a while that he felt like he could breathe again. The weight on his chest seemed to lift, just a little. His mother’s voice was a reminder of everything that had been constant in his life, even when everything else felt uncertain.
“I’ll come back soon, Ma,” he promised. “I don’t know when, but I will.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she replied gently. “Take your time. Just remember, I’m here.”
Sahil felt a lump in his throat, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for the conversation to end. But he knew it was time to let her go, to stop hiding behind the distance of the city. He had made the first step—toward his father, toward his past—and now it was time to make the next one.
“Goodnight, Ma. I love you.”
“I love you too, beta. Always.”
As he hung up the phone, Sahil took a deep breath, his mind a little clearer than before. He wasn’t sure how he was going to reconcile everything—the tension with his father, the distance from his mother, the pull between Kolkata and Bihar—but he knew one thing for certain: he had taken the first real step toward understanding himself. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.
The city of Kolkata, once overwhelming, felt a little more manageable. He didn’t have all the answers, but for the first time, he wasn’t running from the questions anymore.
The days after his call to his mother were quieter. The city felt less like a maze of confusion and more like a canvas—one that was still being painted, one stroke at a time. Sahil had made peace, not with all of Kolkata or his father, but with the part of him that had been running. The part of him that had been unwilling to face the truth about what he wanted, what he needed, and what he had been avoiding.
Ravi, too, seemed to sense the subtle shift. There was an openness in their conversations now, a genuine effort to understand each other rather than merely filling the gaps of silence with small talk. Ravi no longer left Sahil to his own devices; he invited him to dinner meetings with colleagues, encouraged him to explore the city, and even brought him along to visit a few of his architectural projects. There was a quiet, almost tentative connection beginning to form between them.
But Sahil’s journey wasn’t just about reconnecting with his father. It was about reclaiming his sense of self amidst the noise of this new life. He wasn’t sure what it meant yet to live in Kolkata, but each day felt like a step toward finding out.
One afternoon, as Sahil was wandering near the Howrah Bridge, he saw a familiar face—a girl he had met on the train. Her name was Mukti. The last time they’d spoken, they had shared fleeting moments of connection, their conversations carried away by the urgency of their own stories. But now, there she was, standing by the river, her gaze lost in the distance.
Sahil hesitated, then walked toward her, unsure if she would even remember him. As he approached, she looked up, and a soft, knowing smile spread across her face.
“Hey, you,” she said, her voice calm, as if she had been expecting him.
Sahil stopped a few feet away, a smile tugging at his lips. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Mukti chuckled, her eyes twinkling. “Kolkata’s full of surprises. I could say the same to you.”
The two of them stood there in silence for a moment, watching the river flow by. It was a different kind of silence, though. It wasn’t filled with the weight of words unsaid or thoughts running wild. It was a comfortable pause, a shared understanding that, for once, they didn’t need to rush through everything.
Sahil finally broke the silence. “How’s everything?”
Mukti shrugged, a slight smile on her lips. “Same as it’s always been. You know, the usual struggle. The fight to figure out what’s next.”
Sahil nodded, his fingers instinctively tugging at the strap of his backpack. He understood that struggle more than she realized. It wasn’t just about finding a future—it was about understanding the choices that had led him here, to this city, to this moment.
“Are you staying here?” Mukti asked, turning her full attention to him.
Sahil paused, then nodded slowly. “For now. I’m still figuring things out.”
Mukti tilted her head, her eyes searching his face as if she were trying to understand more than just his words. “You don’t seem like the type to just stay somewhere. Is it… your father?”
Sahil’s breath caught for a moment. She was perceptive, and in a way, it startled him. He hadn’t realized how much of his internal struggle was so visible to others, especially to someone like Mukti, who had her own shadows to carry.
“Yeah,” he said, a small laugh escaping his lips. “I thought coming here would be one thing, but it’s been a whole other experience. My father… we’re trying to figure things out. But it’s complicated.”
Mukti’s expression softened. She nodded, as though she understood. “Family can be… messy, sometimes. I get it.”
Sahil looked at her, surprised by how easy it was to talk to her. “What about you? What brought you to Kolkata?”
Mukti’s smile faded slightly, and for a brief moment, Sahil could see the walls she’d built around herself. But then she shrugged again, the mask of indifference slipping back into place.
“Escape,” she said simply. “I’ve been running away from my family for years. They have plans for me—dreams they want me to fulfill. But I can’t live like that anymore. So, I came here. To do… what, I don’t know yet. But something different.”
Sahil nodded, feeling an unspoken connection with her, the shared weight of unspoken expectations and the desire for freedom. He could hear the longing in her voice, the need to break free from the chains of family pressure. And in some ways, it mirrored his own. He had come to Kolkata in search of his father, but he had also come in search of himself. And here, standing next to Mukti, he realized that they were both still searching.
“I get it,” Sahil said quietly. “You know, I came here to reconnect with my father, but it feels like I’m still running. Running from my past, from my mistakes, from my choices. And I’m not sure if I can fix everything. But I guess I have to try.”
Mukti turned toward him, her expression serious but not without warmth. “You don’t have to fix everything all at once, Sahil. You just have to start. That’s all we can do.”
Sahil felt a small shift inside him. She was right. He didn’t have to have everything figured out. The weight of his father’s absence, the guilt of leaving his mother behind, the confusion about his place in Kolkata—it didn’t have to be resolved in one moment. But maybe, just maybe, he was on the path to understanding it all. One step at a time.
For the first time since he had arrived in the city, Sahil didn’t feel like he was alone in his struggles. There was a connection here—an understanding—that went beyond words. It wasn’t about fixing the past or forcing relationships into neat boxes. It was about accepting the messiness of life, of family, of love, and of self.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the river, Sahil turned to Mukti, a sense of peace settling in his chest. “I don’t know where this journey is going, but I feel like it’s starting to make sense. A little bit.”
Mukti smiled, her eyes bright with an understanding he hadn’t expected. “It always does, eventually. Just keep moving forward.”
Sahil nodded, the weight of his journey feeling a little lighter. For the first time, he was ready to take the next step—not just for his father, or for his mother, or for the city, but for himself.
The road ahead was still uncertain, but it was his road. And that was enough.
8
Kolkata had begun to feel less like a strange new world and more like an old coat—familiar, worn-in, though still somewhat uncomfortable around the edges. Sahil found himself navigating the city with more confidence, moving through its crowded streets and narrow lanes with a kind of quiet certainty. The initial disorientation was fading, replaced by the slow but steady process of settling into his new life.
Ravi had continued his attempts at connection, and the father-son relationship, while not fully healed, was evolving. There were no grand, life-changing conversations—just small, consistent moments. They’d begun sharing weekend outings, attending art exhibitions or occasional work functions, where Ravi would introduce Sahil to people from his professional world. Sahil had learned to tolerate these social circles, his discomfort muted by the thought that these were small steps toward something bigger. He no longer felt like a stranger in his own father’s life, and in return, Ravi was starting to open up more, sharing fragments of his own past—stories from his younger years, memories of why he chose this life in Kolkata, and even glimpses of regret.
But despite these moments of progress, there was still an unspoken tension between them, a gulf of years that neither of them could fully bridge with words. Sahil often found himself retreating into the quiet spaces of his mind, seeking solace in the books he had brought with him or in the small trips he’d been taking around the city.
Mukti remained a constant presence in his life, their connection deepening with each passing day. They’d started meeting regularly, walking through the busy streets of Kolkata or sitting in small cafés, where they would talk about everything and nothing. Mukti’s bluntness, her honesty about the struggles she faced, had made Sahil feel like he wasn’t alone in his search for something more. She didn’t sugarcoat things, and neither did he, and somehow, that felt more real than anything else.
One evening, after a particularly draining week, Sahil found himself once again at the Howrah Bridge, the same place where he had first run into Mukti months ago. The weather had turned cooler, the evening breeze carrying the scent of the river. He didn’t have a particular reason for coming here, other than the need for a moment of stillness. The city seemed to pulse around him, alive with its own rhythm, and for the first time, Sahil could hear it without feeling overwhelmed.
As he stood there, his thoughts drifting, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Mukti, her face lit up by the streetlights, her eyes gleaming with a spark of mischief.
“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” she said, her voice light.
Sahil chuckled softly. “I didn’t expect to be here either. Just needed to think.”
Mukti raised an eyebrow. “You and your thinking. You’ve been doing a lot of that lately.”
Sahil shrugged, glancing out over the river. “Yeah, guess I have.”
They stood in silence for a moment, the noise of the city faintly audible in the background. The sound of car horns, the murmur of conversations, the occasional shrill of a distant train—they all felt like part of the fabric of the city, blending together in a way that didn’t feel so alien anymore.
“I’ve been thinking about my mother,” Sahil said, breaking the quiet. His voice was soft, almost hesitant. “I haven’t been able to call her as much as I should. I promised her I’d come back soon, but… it’s hard. I don’t know if I’m ready to leave here.”
Mukti stood beside him, her gaze steady. “You’re torn between two places, huh? Two worlds. It’s hard to choose sometimes.”
Sahil nodded. “I feel like I’m supposed to choose. Stay here, build a life with my father, or go back and fix things with my mom. I don’t know what the right choice is. I don’t even know if there is a right choice.”
Mukti exhaled slowly, her words coming out with a quiet understanding. “There is no right or wrong, Sahil. You’re trying to make decisions that people spend their entire lives figuring out. It’s okay to not have the answers right now.”
Sahil looked at her, the weight of her words sinking in. “I feel like I’m failing. My mom, my dad, even myself. Like I should be doing more, being more.”
“You’re doing the best you can,” Mukti said, her voice firm. “You’re here, aren’t you? You’re trying to make it work. That’s all anyone can ask.”
Sahil felt a sudden tightness in his chest. Her words, though simple, had a weight to them. She had no idea how much her honesty had grounded him. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m running away from things I should be facing,” he confessed, the admission spilling out before he could stop it.
Mukti turned to face him fully, her expression thoughtful. “You can’t keep running forever. But you don’t have to figure everything out in one go. Life isn’t a race, Sahil. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re on your path. And that’s okay.”
Sahil closed his eyes for a moment, letting her words settle in. The pressure, the weight he had carried around for so long, seemed to lift slightly. He didn’t need to know everything. He didn’t need to fix everything. The road ahead didn’t need to be clear. He just had to keep walking, one step at a time.
“I’m scared,” he admitted, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. “Scared that I’ll make the wrong choice. That I’ll lose something or someone along the way.”
Mukti’s voice softened. “It’s normal to be scared. But sometimes, that fear is just a sign that you care. That you’re willing to try. And that’s more than most people ever do.”
For a long while, they stood there, letting the city hum around them. The bridge behind them, the flowing river beneath their feet, and the sprawling city of Kolkata stretched out in front of them—all were reminders of how far Sahil had come, and how far he still had to go.
Eventually, Mukti nudged him gently, her voice light. “Come on. Let’s get some chai. You’ve been brooding long enough.”
Sahil chuckled, the sound light and unburdened. “Chai sounds perfect.”
As they walked side by side toward the nearby tea stall, Sahil couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm wash over him. The weight of the choices, the tension between the past and the present, still loomed in the background, but for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the need to rush toward an answer.
He was learning that sometimes, just being in the moment—without trying to fix everything, without overthinking—was enough. Maybe life didn’t need to have all the answers, and maybe, just maybe, he was finally starting to understand that it was okay to not know everything.
And that, in itself, was a new beginning.